This post is for you that know me best. I have had some time to collect myself and find the sun again. Those of you that truly know me and my heart know that I need it to survive most situations in life. Here lately I have felt too emotional and angry. That’s not good nor is it conducive to all that I try to convey here in this virtual land created to give way to this our passion for the arts thus keeping it safe and alive.
Occasionally we all need to express ourselves and that I get, but only being able to express two emotions neither being happy…not good and you know how I try not to spit up on my playground, right? Well lately I hadn’t given that much thought and just felt the awful draining things that were running through my head and that wasn’t good so I decided that I needed to go away for a while and get help, the only kind of help I can ever think of when I feel that way, some of you know what I mean and I don’t have to say it. I get through without doctors and meds it’s more of a spiritual thing. But I won’t go into prose about it here.
Today is July the 10th and I am going to post this after I get fully back, I am definitely feeling better on some ends than when I left. I cried this evening for other reasons than a week ago. Tonight it had to do with my son and feeling like a crappy mom vs. other things. Doing my job there dealing with a teenager is not easy. I think you other moms out there know exactly what I’m talking about; especially you single moms.
I think our children were designed to get a certain age then drive us nuts…LOL! With my years of trying to get over anger it all sort of hurts me and turns my stomach to be mad about something for too long. Passivity has it’s not so high points I must say. And yeah, I’m a horror writer, I know! LOL! Kids can be horrific alright but we can’t kill them so we deal with them being what and who they are as best as we can, even if that makes us cry where they can’t see us.
On to happier things though, I have spent a good portion of my time writing while I’ve been away from the net (for the most part) and it’s been good. I went from approx. 6k on the fifth Legends book to over 18k so far as of today. I’m hoping that by the time I post this the first draft will be finished! That will be exciting because that means only one more story in the series to go. Also it might be a little sad too as I have spent about 8 years with these characters total. But it all has to end sooner or later right?
If I talk too much about Legends it still excites me so that’s good. I know I don’t talk too much about it right now but there will be time for it all sooner than I thought, in the coming months as a matter of fact. Just try
shutting me up! LOL! Seriously, how is it that when you start talking about a story, it just keeps you talking and hypes you up to talk about it? Hmmm, perhaps more thought it required here *insert more thought here* LOL!
Ok so today was not a rough day spent in my wonderment and unease, it was a day of birthday celebrations in the extreme heat that we in MO are beginning to despise. I seriously remember summers as a kid where the highs were in the high 80’s F and we thought that was hot here. Oh give me high 80’s anytime y’all! It’s been a weird year though, yesterday it was nice because it was one of those days and it was so awesome. You can sit outside and not feel like you’re completely drained of all energy. Today however, when I came home from all of that celebrating I had to go lie down a while because I did feel drained. It was about an hour and I got back up but still, that’s too damn hot!
Well another thing also that I figured I might tell you…this, this virtual time off has just been yet another side step in this journey on this road I’m on. As you know, this whole thing could come crashing in at any moment. For me I would rather think that it wouldn’t happen that way but you never know what the true plan for you or any of us really is, it’s not like we get to view what is already written for us. So this being just a side step, I will continue on my path as I know it to be so far in hopes that this dream will last long enough and be good enough that there will be too many pieces of it to treasure that my little treasure box will fill up. And I thank you all for being along with me for this journey, it really is appreciated that you’re here. *Big smiles for you!*
Until I am back here again, go through life with all the love I have to give you and know that you all are definitely part of the sunshine that carries me through. And again thank you!
Oh just one more FYI before I go…’Writer J. Gunn’s Tales of the Scary’ is officially a .com now!!! So excited about that!
*Update to this post! I’m almost finished with the first draft of Legends Second Coming, the whole thing! We are at 52k+ in word count and over 200 pages! 🙂